Seriously, people

Do not page your doctor on a Friday night because you are pregnant and notice a mucous-y, creamy discharge (not bleeding or pain) after sex. It is semen, you rocket scientist, and we really, really did not need to know that. Also, it is not an emergency, like the message says when it provides the number to have the doctor paged...at their home...taking care of their family...who has to take time away from that family to hear about the effluent from your nether regions after your feelgood Friday night. Seriously, think before you page, and have a heart. Doctors are *people*, not 24 hour information hot lines. Dr. Google is open 24 hours a day for "emergencies" such as this. Thanks so much. Heart, your overworked, cranky doctor.