The Almighty Call Gods

Any one in medicine, or with a loved one in medicine already knows that we tend to be a superstitious bunch. Funny, since you would think that people, who are, in general, so scientifically minded, would scoff at silly ritual and the whims of fate. *Everybody* knows that you should never, ever say that you are having a "quiet" day or an "easy" case. And, what ever you do, you should not piss off the forces that are better known as the "call gods." When you are on call, especially in L&D, you never know what kind of call you are going to have. Some days and nights are smooth and easy, and some are absolute hell on earth. You can be certain, if you you are having the latter kind of call, that you have transgressioned against the call gods, and they are exacting their wrath upon you.

How exactly do you anger the call gods? I'm not entirely certain of all the ways one can anger them. One way is to plan to do something, anything at all, on the day/night/weekend on which you are on call. If you make plans other than sitting at the hospital on your call day, it tends to blow up in your face. Another way is to get too comfortable, especially at home. Woe betide the on-call physician who dares to try to change out of scrubs into pajamas, take a long bath, or, heaven forbid, take a nap, for the call gods will smite thee mightily. I think another thing that rouses the wrath of the call gods is becoming anything less than vigilant about scouting potential customers coming in through labor and delivery or the emergency room. Your radar must always be roving for potential impending disaster.

For whatever the reason, or, perhaps because they felt bad for destroying me over my last holiday call, a Labor Day weekend 13 delivery-palooza, the call gods were incredibly kind to me this past weekend. I started with a full census, delivered one baby at 3 pm on Friday, discharged every single patient from the census by Sunday, did one consult on Sunday, and delivered another baby at 2 am this morning. I slept in my own bed for 2.5 out of 3 total nights on call. It was the strangest, most unsettling feeling. I kept checking my pager and the computer. I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, but truly, it never did. That is, of course, until this morning, feeling safe from the call gods' collective hearing, I happened to post to fac.eboo.k that I had an eerily slow call weekend. Oh how my hubris was heard and met with a swift and mighty justice. Not 30 minutes later, I received a call from a sick colleague, requesting that I cover call tomorrow night in exchange for them covering my week-day call next week. Of course, I agreed. I am not looking forward to the kind of payback that the call gods have in mind for me.

Heeyyy Iiiiiii, ooohhh, I'm still alive...

Still alive, still snarky, still slacking on the blog. I miss you guys! The time just keeps passing and passing, and I keep meaning to blog, and, before I know it, it is bedtime and I am too tired to post. Bad bloggger. No cookie!

Speaking of no cookies, I am starting a physician-directed weight loss program for the next three months. I am in desperate need of someone else to kick my ass. I had all of my fasting bloodwork drawn this week. I am hoping that the raw numbers will jolt me from my post-Halloween candy daze. Mmmmm, Kit Kats......

We are having too much fun as a family, now that I am not on call. We've been to the circus, and the pool, and the beach and to the store. We are having friends over and sleep overs and lots of good family time. I love hearing my kids shout "Mommy!" with joy when I come home (nearly every night...at a decent time!) from work. Life is good.

On the work-front, I have had some good deliveries. My favorite was one where the baby was really. not. happy. with labor. Lots of decels, angsting at the nurses station. The patient was a multip, so I was hanging on by my toenails to try to get her a vaginal delivery, while trying to keep from having angina, myself. The cool part came when I went to check her cervix to make the final C-section call. I felt her cervix change from 4 to 6 to 8 to complete in the span of about 20 minutes. She delivered a fit and fiesty baby boy (OP) with about 30 minutes between thinking I was going to have to call a section and delivery. Too awesome.

I have more eloquent posts swirling about the cortex, but the bottom line is, I am well, the family is well, and I love my job. I will be back soon. Happy November!