Skip this post if you want medical-ese or fast paced birthing action. I have had no such action for the last five days, and won't for at least the next three! Ah vacation, how I love thee. Instead I am going to bitch about running errands and how much I hate to do so. So if you like whining and negativity, this is the post for you! I have managed, in my own slovenly way, to get my errands done. I braved the grocery store and bulk supply store with child in tow and cell phone in hand (thanks, Moof). Alas, it did not deter Patient'sMom from tapping me on the shoulder in the egg section. Luckily for me, she was ever-present at her daughter's pre-natal exams, so I remembered to whom she belonged. My patient delivered scarcely 7 weeks ago, yet her mother sighed at me, "She still has a little tummy on her." I dug deep and replied with the standard, "Well, it took nine months to gain that weight, so it isn't going to just fall off in a few weeks." What I *wanted* to say was that it had been over two years, and *my* "little tummy" (I wish) has yet to disappear. My patient is a single mom with enough on her plate already without needing the weight guilt-trip from her mother less than two months after delivery! Poor thing probably is going to have a terrible complex.
Today I got my oil changed and car inspected for the trip, dropped the kiddo off for tumbling class, and went to the mall. Did you know that very few stores in the mall open before 10 am? I, unfortunately, did not know this. Nevertheless, I found good, cheap beach clothes, most for half price. I hate trying on clothes, and that is all I am going to say about that. I have gone from being young and hip and belonging in the mall, to being frumpy and grumpy and abhorring the mall. Being in the mall reminds me why I love online shopping so much. The customer service is atrocious, and, when I could find salespeople, they were grossly uninformed. I nearly gave the poor makeup girl a heart attack when I asked her for makeup recommendations. She stammered, kept asking me what I wanted, and kept pulling out shades for me that were just dead wrong. Then, she admitted she had only been working there for six whole days. She hastened to add that she had been using that brand of makeup for seven years (probably since she turned 10), though, so she should be able to help. Judging by her (obviously) false eyelashes and bright violet eyeshadow, I was unconvinced. I finally found some basics and made a mental note to call the store in advance to speak to someone a little more experienced next time I wanted makeup advice. Mean, bitter hag = me.
The other thing that really made an impression upon me is the way that teenaged girls dress around here! They look like they just rolled out of bed, pulled their hair back on the top of their head, and wore their PJs to the mall. And the color combos! The worst one that I saw on this particular outing? Red and TURQUOISE. I may be a squat, fat frump, but at least I was wearing real clothes and making the effort to be clean and presentable in public. Shit, did that phrase just fly from my fingers? I am doomed to become my mother. I did see and speak with two of my patients at the mall (both of whom looked very cute and presentable), but I'm sure that I didn't see at least a dozen more as I barreled through the shops. I escaped with social pleasantries only and no va-jay-jay questions at all! As whiny and negative as this post is sounding, I really am in a fantastic mood. Enough whinging. I'm off to finish laundry and pack up the car. Sorry for boring you, and have a happy weekend!