Let's face it, married people fight. No matter how blissfully happy you are, no matter how much you have in common, no matter how good your life is in the bedroom, you are still individual people, and are apt to disagree. In our marriage, we have adopted the mantra of never going to bed angry, and, to tell the truth, we don't have terribly major fights. More often than not, we just irritate one another and nib at each other from time to time. Often, after spending a lot of time with one another, you start to develop your very own secret language. You have special looks, inside jokes, and phrases, while non-sensical to others, that hold a great amount of meaning to you as a couple. Most of our general bickering is halted by a few catch phrases, that, more often than not, make us laugh and forget about the squabbling.
In the early years of our relationship, Mr. Whoo and I seemed to only fight when we were around his buddies. Invariably, early on, this was because one of us was more intoxicated than the other, and that divide between states of consciousness was just not easily bridged. One of our more major fights occured over a Thanksgiving weekend, when 2 of his buddies and their wives came to our house to celebrate Thanksgiving, as we were all too far from our respective families to travel for the weekend. The day after Thanksgiving, all of the boys went outside to throw the football around, leaving us girls to our own devices. It was nearly 11:30 in the morning, so we did the most logical thing; we started drinking wine. We drank and giggled and watched, I think, some dog show on TV for a couple of hours before the guys came back in from playing in the yard. I think they were surprised (and maybe a little miffed) to find us absolutely blitzed in the living room, but whatever. Strike one. We decided to go see one of the Harry Potter movies, and since we were still riding the wave of intoxication, we decided to try to sneak wine into the theater in sport bottles, concealed in bulky coats and purses. We arrived in the theater where I promptly fell asleep (ie. passed out) for the duration of the movie. Strike two. When the movie was over, Mr. Whoo had to jostle me to wake me up, and I decided it was a good idea just to stay in the theater and sleep it off. Strike three. "I'm not going without my Richmond!" my drunken-self proclaimed. What I meant was that I had forgotten my still full sports bottle in the theater. Mr. Whoo, clearly at the end of his rope at this point, refused to let me go back to retrieve the "Richmond." We loaded into the car, where I spat across 2 rows of seats that I was "Sooooo, effing-sorry!" Except I didn't say "efffing," I said the "Queen Mother of all Curse Words." Since it was obvious that I wasn't sorry at all, things went from bad to worse. Our friends, of course, thought that this was hilarious. We finally worked it out, no harm done, but to this day, all sports bottles in our house are "Richmonds" and one way to end a fight and get a good laugh is saying "I'm so efff-ing sorry!"
Other choice phrases in our house to end a fight include the circa-4th grade retort, "You are." (Variations on which include, "You're the one," or "You're the one that is.") "You don't even know." (Thanks to a comic that we both watched once upon a time.) and the very versatile "Suck it," or "You can suck it." The wonderful phrase, "Suck it" was perpetuated by my good friend YogaGirl and her husband, and let me tell you, it is a most amusing way to agree to disagree. When any of the above phrases are uttered, we know to drop the subject, and we can end the conversation with a smile.
Here is a sample Whoo household squabble:
The complaint, "You forgot to put a new roll of toilet paper on the roll (do the dishes, bathe the child, etc.)"
The initial reply, "You're the one that did."
The insistence, "I mean really, how hard is it?"
The volley, "You don't even know!"
The resolution, "You can suck it."
"I'm soooo effing soooorry."
End of fight.
Do any of you have special "fighting words?"