That's oh-be-GUY-n, not oh-be-GIN, as some (primarily people from Texas) would like to refer to my chosen profession. Although, working in this field can sometimes cause one to develop a penchant for gin...hmmm.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Happy Mother's Day
Happy Mother's Day to all of you Mothers, would-be-mothers, and glad-you-aren't-mothers, We had a great active weekend here. CindyLou had her 4th birthday party (dinosaur theme, of course, every girl's dream), and the Bean was baptized this weekend. I also was on call, but so far the call gods have been kind to us! May has been a crazy month, with lots of travel, and busy-ness in general. I am hopeful for the summer. I am looking to interview with other practices in the coming weeks. I am also going to meet "the other woman" this weekend at a mutual friend's wedding. Give me the strength to be civil and polite to this person with whom I regard with contempt. Apparently they are going to become engaged soon. It blows my mind how my friends can call her a "nice person" when I know and she knows that she is a home wrecker. Hopefully I won't get drunk enough to tell her what I really think of her! Today I am thankful for my perfect babies. They are truly the best Mother's Day presents of all!
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Happy Mother's Day to you!!
Happy Mother's Day!
Goodness! Best to stay sober, I think. Hope the interviews go well.
You know...the guy is the one who cheated. The woman is not the responsible party, and you don't have to like them, just be polite when necessary. She obviously doesn't get it that she is stuck with a guy that isn't trustworthy...maybe befriending her and getting her to see the light would be the best lesson for the cheeater-guy.
I've been following your blog for a while and I really admire the way you juggle your family and professional life. However, for the most part, I think that as an ob, your are far too interventionist and you need to learn to do less. I am not a doctor, but I have given birth three times, and the last two were zero intervention, all natural experiences. I am the only one of my friends who describes birth as "exhilirating" rather than as something that you "have to get through". I don't expect every woman to make the same choices as myself but I am disappointed that the medical profession has been steadily denying women who want less, rather than more, these choices. I don't expect you to answer for your profession because you are a product of a particular time and place as much as the next person. That being said, I watched "Deliver Me" on Discovery Health for the first time last night and I really thought I would be physically ill. It was just fear mongering followed by surgery for one patient after the next. It was appalling. It was such a distortion of what giving birth is and should be that giving birth had a greater similarity to having a tumor removed than to a major rite of passage in a woman's life. I truly felt sorry for these patients. I'm just putting this out there because you blog and that creates a forum for ideas. You can disagree but I would urge you to open your mind a bit. See Ricki Lake's movie, talk to midwives and women who choose noninterventionist birth and respect the choices of your patients even if they are different from your own.
Happy Mother's Day, albeit a little late.
Please don't just dismiss the girlfriend as a homewrecker. She didn't wreck the marriage, he did. More than likely, the marriage was a wreck before the cheating occurred. Affairs happen for a lot of reasons and you can never truly know what is going on in someone else's relationship.
Not that I condone her part in the affair, but perhaps you can just let yourself see her as a person, rather than a label. Just pretend you do not know the reasons behind the friend's divorce and treat her as you would any new person in a friend's life. You don't have to be her friend, just greet, smile and move on.
I hope you have fun at the wedding.
I just came across your blog. I have to tell you that I have a similar situation. Di and Chuck broke up about 10 years ago when Camilla came into the picture. Chuck and Camilla have been living together ever since. They tried to make a go of socializing with us for a while but I'm sure my cold shoulder was evident. They eventually gave up.
What they did to his wife is against every moral fiber in my body. I have forgiven Chuck, but that doesn't mean I have to be a doormat. The last time we hosted a social event he left Camilla at home.
Happy mother's day!
Time is a great leveller. It is amazing how wives who began their relationship as the mistress tend to act surprised to find their husband has left them for another mistress after they usurped the original wife.
Sorry, anon, but unless a woman is completely unaware that her boyfriend is married the entire time he is dating her, then she is also a cheater.
Dr. Whoo, good luck. You're stuck in a bad situation and I feel your pain.
Thanks for all the Mother's day wishes!
anon 5/12~ Well, she was well aware, the entire time, of his marital status, so, in my opinion, she is just as guilty. She says to this day that she would do it again, too. Fine, upstanding character has she. I believe she will reap what she has sown with Cheater, and befriending her is pretty much out of the question.
Hi anon 5/14~ Think what you will, but in my profession, certain interventions save babies and mothers (and other interventions save me from the money grubbing lawyers and their ilk, so you can thank John Edwards for some of these "uneccessary interventions" like fetal monitoring.) Let's face it, midwives are protected under good samaritan laws, but my whole family could be affected by a bad outcome.
Contrary to popular internet opinion, OB/Gyn physicians do not seek to "deny women their rights" to a great birth experience. We are there just in case something should go awry, either during pregnancy or delivery. If you have read me at all, you would see that I prefer natural labor and delivery to inductions and surgery, but thank god I can do those things, as well.
Luckily, women have choices in who they choose to assist them in the birth process. If little intervention is for you, then you have the choice of a midwife or even unassisted, should you be so inclined. For me, I think that a baby is so precious, I would take every precaution to safeguard them over a candle-lit, earth mother kind of "experience" any day. JMO. Thanks for reading.
anon 5/14 10p~ You are right, the label of homewrecker is probably a bit harsh. He was the true homewrecker, but she played a prominent role and showed serious lack of integrity on her part. That being said, greet, smile, and move on was exactly what happened. And it was fine. And we did have a great time!
the queen of everything~ Amen sister! Good for you for standing your ground. I am fortunate that we do live so far away that casual socializing is out of the question. Next hurdle? If they do end up getting married, how to gracefully decline to attend. Blah.
the girl~ Yes, you are right. She that doesn't learn from history is doomed to repeat it, right? We shall see.
anon 5/23~ Thanks for the backup and the good luck! I think we are doing ok!
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