It has been quite the week. I feel like my life is stuck in fast forward, and it is all that I can do to just keep ploughing through each day. Today, I really just need to vent and get these thoughts out of my head; so if you dislike negativity, please stop reading now!
Right now I am Hating....
....being on staff call.
....working for the last 12 days straight.
....not having a day off until next Friday evening.
....getting a combined 10 hours of sleep in the last 72 hours.
....jumping as though shocked every time I hear a beeping noise, even if it is only the gas pump and not my pager.
....missing CindyLou's bedtime on Sunday, Tuesday, and Wednesday.
....the fact that CindyLou's daycare is closed tomorrow.
....that I can't just cancel my patients for tomorrow.
....that my house is a wreck.
....the fact that OtherDoc is going out of town for the *entire week* of Thanksgiving, leaving me to cover his umpteen-million patients (that, most likely, will collectively go into labor on Thanksgiving Day and ruin my dinner plans.)
....not having clean laundry.
....politics - local, national, and global.
....the 642 charts littering my desk, waiting for me to document exams that happened days ago.
....having major schedule issues, and no office manager available to correct them.
....that the office manager is OtherDoc's wife, and thus not easily fired.
....not having another vacation planned until the very end of December.
....feeling like a hypocrite when I am counseling other people on how to lose weight.
....having to argue with a nurse about Methergine injection location semantics, whilst my post-partum patient (another nurse!) was hemorrhaging.
....being so used to living in the hospital, that I actually dialed a "9" (to get an outside line, you see) on my HOME phone.
...."dropped bladders" and incontinence.
....the PMS monster.
....being a crappy friend.
....feeling guilty about being a crappy friend.
....that none of my close girlfriends are within a weekend's driving distance.
....dreading seeing my office schedule every day, and thus, dreading work.
....wishing my life away, just to get to the next break from being on call.
Whew, I think that is enough for now. Just can't wait to see the Google hits I get from that post! It is really strange how I feel so much better after writing it all out. Thanks for cyber-listening, and I promise to return you to your regularly scheduled snarking as soon as possible.
Sometimes we all just need to vent a little :) I hope that things get a little more tolerable and that you don't miss too many more bedtimes.
dear dr. whoo...you forgot one: the patient who complains of insomnia and expects you to be sympathetic. When you have had 10 hours of sleep in 72 hours the last thing you feel for someone who has the chance to lie down all night is sympathy--envy is my predominant emotion. BTW, you are going to burn out at this rate. Signed, Been There/Done That
Oh my! The one that I most identified with was dialing the 9 . . . .
Just because I know what it's like to have been immersed in one environment for awhile, and then trying to adjust, it can be kinda funny, except when overwhelmed. And except the time the forgetting to adjust caused me to fold my foot completely under itself and in half and be stuck that way and in shock 'fore my mother dragged me up the stairs by the armpits.
The place I had been staying, had a similar stairway, except the pitch of them was different, so I was so used to that, I kept expecting the next step to hit my foot sooner and after the first few stairs of being "off" I started to fall down the stairs.
Holy crap. How do docs do it, esp OB's who are, essentially, on call for labors unless they're far enough away on vacation to not be close enough. Wait, that might not have made sense . . .
Oh, and I agree w/you on the inducing labor one! I think I rambled on about that one recently, lol. Nothing like a lot of PAIN, many physical, uncomfortable CHECKS for progress, several uncomfortable applications of gel, and many many hours and NO PROGRESS AT ALL! Sorry, that's probably too much like your work. Lol.
I am so sorry you don't have a girlfriend close! I completely understand about venting and how it helps get through it and even past some, alot, or all of it by doing so.
You probably think I'm wierd by now. Just friendly, probably too friendly. Lol.
Office manager that you can't fire, that's gotta be tough. That must make things . . . interesting.
Here's hoping that the babies all sleep and behave themselves thru Thanksgiving.
Oh, honey. I wish I could hug you right now. And feed you girly drinks. And wine. And hey, how 'bout some beer, too? I think we ARE within a weekend's driving distance! I hate that things are so crazy around the holidays.
medstudentitis~ This blog is so therapeutic. It is a fantastic outlet. I am so thankful that I have a place to "get it all out!" So far, this weekend has been a bit more manageable.
anon~ I know that burn out is imminent. I'm trying to get my schedule hashed out before it happens!
As for the insomnia, actually, the more I stress, the less I am able to sleep. It is a pretty vicious cycle. I have a harder time having empathy for the patients lounging across the exam table at 10:30 in the morning (in pj pants, no less) moaning about how it is sooooo *early* and they are soooooo *tired*. Vomit.
hi sarebear~ Thanks for the good wishes! I have just a few more patients due this month, but 23 due in December. It is going to be rough!
GG~ Ok, yes, yes, and yes! :) Name a weekend, and we'll make it happen. I am serious.
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